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There is a certain irony to life that does not escape Capi Peck, who recognizes that while gender roles are probably as flexible as they've ever been, the domestic kitchen is still largely seen as the domain of a woman but restaurant kitchens (and the businesses, themselves) are still by and large run by men.

"It's still a man's world," she said of the restaurant industry, particularly of the time when she got her start more than 20 years ago. "It's still influenced by that European system, where a woman, if anything, would be a pastry chef," which is at the bottom of the traditional kitchen hierarchy.

Oh there's been change, she said. Julia Child made her impact and the new movie Julie and Julia is reminding people of that. And there's the female celebrity chefs of the Food Network inspiring a new generation to shake up the status quo. But in a hot kitchen, with tempers sometimes flaring and knives flashing and profanity popping up - along with heavy loads to move, pour and mix - there is an undeniable machismo.

By Shannon Sturgis Capi Peck is a local restaurant owner and executive chef. + Enlarge

Yet it's an atmosphere Peck, 56, knows well, having grown up in the hospitality industry. Her family ran the famous Sam Peck Hotel downtown for years, and it was there she learned to appreciate fine food, as well as the fine art of running a business.

"Being female, it helped having a grandmother who was a very strong businesswoman : very smart, and very savvy," Peck said, describing how her grandmother, who lived at the hotel, would be up and about at 5 a.m., passing out muffins and giving the place the feel of a small inn.

"My mother died when I was very young : [and] my father ran the hotel with [my grandmother] after my grandfather passed away:. They were great role models," she said. "The things I learned growing up, how the Sam Peck was run, that's really been the key to our success."

Yet it was those two voices, grandma and dad, who advised her not to open Trio's with business partner (and, at the time, husband) Brent Peterson in 1986. Though she had experience catering out of her home, Peck never went to culinary school; her degree is in art history. And the restaurant was always the most demanding part of running the hotel, her family said. Thanks to investment partners who were later bought out, she was able to ignore that advice. And when she first opened, her grandmother was in every day to keep an eye on things, and her dad was even part of the staff until he retired to Hawaii. She's glad they both lived to see her be successful.

"I'm good at what I do, but I'm not a product of culinary school," she said. "I'm the kind of person that I'll try anything once. I trust myself to listen to what people want and produce what they want."

That was another lesson learned from grandma and dad, by the way. And one reason why Trio's has undergone a lot of change in its time, from a casual deli with a heavy culinary retail component to a sit down fine dining experience focused on food. And it's the desire to experiment, particularly in small plates, that inspired Capi's in the Pleasant Ridge shopping center, the nearly year-old second endeavor of Peck and Peterson, who, though no longer married, remain great friends and business partners.

And while her gender - and even more so the lack of formal culinary education - has at times led peers to dismiss her, two decades of success in an industry where the failure rate for new ventures is notoriously high, as many as four in five, she can let her record speak for itself.

"I love what I do," she said. "Even at the end of an 80-hour work week where you want to cry because you're so tired, I love what I do. You have to, especially in this business. If you're not passionate about it, you won't survive."